He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
