I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The power of my boobs compel you
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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