dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
