Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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