That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
