That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
