i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
