Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i have two assholes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
