i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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