i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
