yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
