i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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