She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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