My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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