I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am naked and annoyed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
