boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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