its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I cannot find my penis.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
