Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Boobs are out for the taking
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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