He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
