All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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