she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
