I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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