Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
