I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
