Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
