There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
