The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just forgot I was standing up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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