Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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