Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
