You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
