We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
only if we run a train.
done.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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