I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
