Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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