That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
