I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
