he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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