I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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