you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
