you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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