I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
