i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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