did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
