I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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