I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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