So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
