it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
