I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
