I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
