My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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