i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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