I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
