Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
