My Higher Power is John Stamos
my sisters under your porch take her home
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
