is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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