We named our party play list daddy issues
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
